


Untitled Goose Hijacking

by MundaneSalad



Category: Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, if anyone from the government finds this its just a parody ok, stupider than you can possibly imagine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-14 04:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21009551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MundaneSalad/pseuds/MundaneSalad
Summary: In hindsight, the culprit of the D.B. Cooper Hijacking should have been obvious.





	Untitled Goose Hijacking

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written by kilosandwich (havemind.tumblr.com)

The FBI agent stood in the air traffic tower, his white-knuckled hands gripping the back of the controller’s chair. The air traffic controller was frantically switching between her dials and radios.

”There’s 200,000 dollars on board that plane, what’s the situation?” the agent asked.

“He has five people in total on that aircraft, he must be armed, no one’s tried to make a move,” the controller replied.

“What does he want?”

“They say he’s just staring at them blankly.” 

The agent pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to connect the dots mentally. He snapped his fingers at the most obvious reason for the hijacking. 

“Money, everyone wants money!” A loud noise crackled over the radio, and the controller nearly knocked off her headset and the near-deafening bang, followed by the distant screams of the crew in fear.

“The madman, he’s torturing them,” she gasped. 

“How did he get on board the aircraft?”

“Stolen ticket,” the controller flicked through the flight report, finger landing on a plain-sounding name from the short list, “from one Daniel Cooper.”

“Is he involved?”

“We can’t find him, sir.” There was more screaming from the cockpit as the crew was chased inside.

* * *

The copilot took off his hat, eyes wide in fear. 

“Captain, what do we do? We never encountered anything like this in the academy!” he said. The copilot clutched his hat to his chest, practically shaking. The Captain pulled the flight attendant inside the cockpit and locked the fuselage door.

“I don’t know, skipper, in all my years, I should know what to do, but I freeze up every time I encounter a monster like that,” she replied, sweat dripping down her brow. The cockpit was now packed full of crew members. It was too bad that none of them had splurged a little more for extra legroom. The flight attendant was sobbing.

”Just take off! Take off! He clearly wants us to go!” she cried.

The engines revved as the jet aircraft began taxiing down the runway.

* * *

Back on the ground, more and more agents flooded into the control tower. The air traffic controller was radioing as many airports as she could, everywhere from Vancouver to Sacramento. More screams crackled over the headset. The head FBI agent took notice and diverted his attention to the panicked controller. 

“Where are they going?”

“My god, he’s taking them hostage,” she said, voice cracking. The aircraft accelerated, barreling down the tarmac until it swiftly became aloft, passing into the blue yonder. 

* * * 

Some time later, the air traffic controller got a ping from a comrade up in Seattle. She checked her maps and started another call with the stolen craft. 

“The plane’s been grounded,” she recalled. The agent returned, a second wind of adrenaline rushing through his weirdly meaty hands. He put the chair in a death grip once again. As Seattle radioed in the details, another agent was transcribing the call on a steinopad nearby.  
  
“Did we get him?” asked the agent. The controller’s expression turned sullen, with just a hint of confusion.

“Seattle searched the plane up and down, but they couldn’t find any trace of him or the money.” Every agent in the room gasped. The head agent stood up in shock.

“That’s impossible!” he yelled, astonished. The controller could only shrug.

“The crew said he jumped.”  
  
“But, no man could have survived a fall from that height!”

* * *

Gently gliding to the ground,the bandit softly touched down back in his clearing. Numerous unmarked bills fluttered from his own pristine, yellow bill. He pulled a pencil out from under his wing and crossed out another item from the to-do list: 

> _ Gun on the run_.


End file.
